Friends, I am disgusted and I am mobilizing.
A very good friend of mine just had a terrible experience with the Junior Federated Women's Club of Chester, VA. Her daughter was participating in their Cotillion program. She made the grievous error of questioning their use of public humiliation and bullying while claiming to be teaching manners to preteens. So the group disinvited her daugher, via cowardly letter left in their mailbox.
I think this is beyond the pale. Please, I know I don't have MANY readers or followers, but let's spread the word that we find it reprehensible that a group claiming to teach deportment would believe that bullying is an appropriate way to interact with preteen children.
Sometimes , people of a" high social stature" think that they are above or better than others and do not think they need to listen to others. But they can say whatever will elevate their self thought position. Perhaps having these women as teachers of valuable skills is not desirable and another avenue should be pursued! However much it may hurt the preteen now, following in these womens'footsteps being the girls dream should be reconsidered.
ReplyDeleteI think a public shaming is overdue. I like publicly shaming people who are asshats, so just give me the word. Assuming Klaw stays healthy, I'll see you in a few anyways...
ReplyDeleteI'm not as eloquent as you in expressing thoughts, but it seems to me that "clubs" and "cotillion participation" are a way of establishing "class status" and if I remember correctly, if you didn't collectively agree or live in the proper neighborhood, or have the right avocation, you were not accepted into said club. Most bullies I have ever come across think they are better than most others, so it makes sense to me that the way this was handled was appropriate, to them.
ReplyDeleteI think your friend just saved herself a ton of money and time that would have been wasted on people who would only teach her daughter negative social behavoirs. All things happen for a reason and the good Lord sent your friend a gift, a way out from building bad karma. Have your children spend time in community service related activities. These build character and colleges are looking for students who deem community service more valuable then having participated in a cotillion.
ReplyDeleteI don't see any necessity of participating in Cotillion, and would never put my own daughters into such a program. However, elitist or not, NO program claiming to be bettering children has any right or reasonable excuse for practicing bullying, ESPECIALLY on preteen girls for whom self-esteem is a daily battle anyway. So while it's well and good to say "so what, you don't want to be like them anyway," that's not really the point. The point is that even in an unnecessary, elitist, snob creating institution like this, bullying is never acceptable- particularly the bullying and belittlement of a child by adults.
ReplyDeleteI hope Santa puts a copy of 'Brooks Brothers How to Raise a Lady' in your Christmas stocking this year. I have the 'How to raise a Gentleman' and I love it. And it works!!
ReplyDeleteMy kids are crazy in my house, but for the rest of the world they are well behaved young boys. That's what Cotillion was supposed to be. Now it's antiquated ways, have back fired. Teaching young women to be nasty little bitches.
As a member of the Commerce Club in Atlanta and it's affiliation with the Piedmont Driving Club, and a past member of the Ladies Junior League, my children will do just fine without Cotillion. It's no longer 1958 and my children's social lives will skyrocket without it.
We teach our children manners on a global scale, so that while traveling internationally anyone would be happy to come across them. Not some 2 bit debutante from Albany,Ga like my roommate in college (to whom we referred as Queen of the Trailer Parks).
This also teaches our children self esteem without annihilating someone else.
So again I say "Brooks Brothers How to Raise a Gentleman/Lady"