Today I took the Last Nap of Summer. The Squirt decided about 1:15 that she was "seepy" and wanted to "seep seep inna bed" (I love toddler-speak) so Mommy decided that sounded pretty good to her. Plus my window for being physically able to sleep on my stomach (don't tell the chiropractor) is rapidly dwindling so for the greater good I ought to indulge in a snooze myself.
A blissful hour and forty-five later, we woke up and Niblet signaled that he or she would like his or her mother to indulge in a snack. Because I'd never snack all on my own, ya'll. That'd be unhealthy. So we opened the fridge and I spotted them: strawberries.
Now some of you may not be aware that I have an addiction issue. Strawberries and watermelon. I can't resist. I will buy, and eat, the $6 genetically modified Chernobyl-Mutant strawberries you can get in December. When I went to France this summer, I happily indulged in a 12E basket "du fraise," even fully knowing that 12 euro is about $17. I ate all those boogers, you know I did.
So I'm thinking, hey, strawberries would be good and they're not wholly unhealthy. They are fruit, yes, which is a sugar no-no, BUT berries have a lower glycemic index than say, a Klondike bar. So I took them out and began hacking off the tops.
Then I got to the bottom of the container.
And the damn strawberries were molded.
But I ate the ones I'd already washed and cut anyway. So I'm probably going to die in 15 or 20 minutes. Someone come check on The Squirt and remind Clint that socks don't actually belong in the sofa cushions. 'Kay? Thx bye.
I'm sure strawberry mold is some sort of miracle cure for something terrible. You're gonna make it.
ReplyDeleteIt's probably the sole thing keeping me from being diabetic. You know, since I'm fat and all.
ReplyDeleteYou still alive over there????
ReplyDeleteMold is a flavoring. Just ask the lady on "Hoarders" who ate some random gray thing from an unmarked jar.
ReplyDeleteAt least you could identify what you were eating.
It's all good.
OMG you just compared me to a person on Hoarders. I did NOT lose my teeth in a pile of dead animals, poop and garbage in the living room, TYVM.
ReplyDeleteI most certainly did not.
ReplyDeleteI merely suggested that you contact her for proper prep techniques for food from the Nixon administration.
Also,I need clarification on the poop. Are you talking about free-range animal poop or poop-filled adult diapers, neatly tied off in Food Lion bags? The distinction is a fine one, but it is there.
btw-I will fight you to the death over watermelon. Unfortunately, Luke and Sophie have developed a taste for it, too, and that leads to a maternal quandary.
ReplyDelete